Sex Gets Real Episode 84

Hysterectomies can impact sex, plus soapy blowjobs

We have a full episode for you this week. From listener stories about fingering circles as a teenager to warnings against soapy blowjobs, our listeners are certainly adventurous.

Plus, one listener wants to know what can be done now that his wife has had a full hysterectomy and has zero desire for sex. Is there any hope?

Dawn talks pubic hair, and Dylan horrifies us all with a story about a woman using a sausage to pleasure herself in a public bathroom. No, folks. Just no.

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:53 – Not sexy = Dylan sounding like a mule.
  • 0:58 – October 21st was International Fisting Day.
  • 1:35 – Dylan isn’t sure if she’s been fisted. Conundrum.
  • 2:14 – There’s something special about being somewhere and hearing someone yell, “I just got fisted!” It’s all about celebrating each other’s firsts, isn’t it?
  • 2:58 – It was also asexual awareness week in late October.
  • 3:05 – Dawn went to an asexuality talk at Sex Down South.
  • 3:50 – Here is a link to the asexuality talk, including that great quote.
  • 6:00 – Dylan just can’t imagine being asexual. She’s likes being a horny mo’fo.
  • 7:39 – The asexuality presenter had a funny story about what it’s like when they watch porn.
  • 9:10 – When The Price is Right turns kinky.
  • 10:36 – Some of our listeners are having orgies in high school and getting into all kinds of fun trouble.
  • 11:00 – A listener writes in about a cautionary tale of a blowjob in the shower. Wash off the soap!
  • 11:21 – Literally getting your mouth washed out with Irish Spring soap. Mom would be proud.
  • 11:59 – Dawn didn’t trim or landscape before going to see Alex the last time. Poof city.
  • 12:24 – We think some guys THINK that they don’t like pubic hair, but it’s more social conditioning and watching porn than because they’ve actually tried it themselves.
  • 13:15 – We’ve been taught that any smell in a vulva is bad, when in fact it’s super rich with pheromones. So having pubic hair can actually increase arousal and desire in a partner.
  • 14:21 – A listener tells about a time her dad caught her and her friends in a fingering circle.
  • 16:46 – Dawn ordered porn for her 15th birthday party with all of her friends. Mom was no amused when she found out.
  • 18:26 – In the third grade, Dylan and her friend would look at her friend’s dad’s Penthouse stash.
  • 18:55 – Dawn and her friend made this very sexual list of ways to keep a boy when they were 15 years old. It’s amazing the things we kind of knew back then.
  • 20:10 – Our listener Stacey wanted to tell us the science behind why foot play is so sensual.
  • 20:47 – Why does it feel so good to have your toes sucked on? This listener thinks she has the answer.
  • 23:24 – Dawn has been researching trauma, and how trauma, specifically PTSD, rewires the brain.
  • 25:01 – And…Dawn’s ex footed someone’s pussy. So there’s that.
  • 26:15 – Our listener Dave is asking for help: his wife doesn’t want sex after her full hysterectomy. Help.
  • 26:57 – Sadly, it’s very common that doctor’s tell folks sex won’t be impacted by a full hysterectomy, and that is not true for many people.
  • 27:58 – Check out “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston.
  • 31:15 – Your orgasms can change, your body can have a different sexual response after a hysterectomy because muscles and nerves have shifted.
  • 34:00 – If you’ve had a full hysterectomy and your libido tanks, you can explore testosterone therapy. Also check out “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski.
  • 35:28 – It’s so important to get reconnected with your body after trauma or major surgery. When things change, it can feel scary and disconnected. So, doing rituals that honor this new body and allow a relationship to develop can be critical.
  • 35:52 – Too often we see different as bad or broken – this is true for penises and vulvas and all kinds of bodies that go through big changes. You have to redefine what pleasure and sex mean in this new body.
  • 36:34 – We have to rewrite what sex means many times in our lives.
  • 38:16 – It can be scary for our partners when we go on sexual journeys because what we like and need may change. They can wonder how they fit into this new landscape.
  • 39:45 – A full hysterectomy is a major trauma to the body, but it’s not framed that way, unfortunately.
  • 41:00 – And we have a new study that tells us stuff we have always known – men don’t like smart women in real life, only in theory.
  • 43:33 – The masculinity myth strikes again. Ugh.
  • 44:21 – Did you hear about Wal-Mart accidentally stocking it’s gun shelves with sex lube?
  • 45:40 – And then there is that time you are just so horny you steal a Bob Evans sausage and get off with it in the bathroom. Is this an urban legend?
  • 48:01 – Dawn thinks everyone should keep a vibrator or sleeve in their car for those super horny moments.
  • 50:18 – Robin Wilson-Beattie does want to weigh in on the special needs dad’s episode because there was a lot of ableism going on with assumptions of the kinds of kids people would have.

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On this week's episode of the Sex Gets Real podcast, a listener asks for help after his wife's hysterectomy. Plus, soapy blowjobs, pubic hair, porn confessions, and much more.

  • Dawn
  • November 8, 2015