Sex Gets Real 294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter

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tl;dr Inka Winter from ForPlay Films joins us to talk about making porn and why sexual healing and sex education is an important part of her work.

Inka shares about her experience growing up in a cult in Austria where sex was mandatory and why that informs so much of her work at ForPlay Films.

In this episode, Inka and I talk about the very real challenges of what it’s like to create erotic film. We talk about how Inka got started, how generous her friends in Hollywood have been at volunteering as cinematographers and support staff, and even why most of her films to date have featured friends instead of professional porn performers.

We also explore the homophobia among men in the adult industry in Los Angeles and why she’s struggled to feature more diverse bodies and stories in her films.

I can’t wait for you to hear this honest and approachable chat with someone who is creating erotic material with a focus on love, consent, and education.

Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at dawnserra.com.

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Episode Transcript

Dawn Serra: You’re listening to Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra, that’s me. This is a place where we explore sex, bodies, and relationships, from a place of curiosity and inclusion. Tying the personal to the cultural where you’re just as likely to hear tender questions about shame and the complexities of love, as you are to hear experts challenging the dominant stories around pleasure, body politics, and liberation. This is about the big and the small, about sex and everything surrounding it we don’t usually name. The funny, the awkward, the imperfect happen here in service to joy, connection, healing, and creating healthier relationships with ourselves and each other. So welcome to Sex Gets Real. Don’t forget to hit subscribe.

Hey, you. Welcome to this week’s episode. This week Inka Winter is here to join us and I am really excited for you to hear this conversation. Inka Winter is a feminist pornographer and has started a company called Forplay Films. Forplay is spelled without the E. So almost like it’s “for play”, as in fun. And Inka is doing some really interesting work around self-funded erotic films that are really about pleasure, sexual healing, and offering a different perspective around sex and the kinds of sex that we see on screen. I really think you’re going to enjoy this conversation hearing just how much work goes into creating these short erotic films. 

Dawn Serra: So many of us see the internet as this free gateway to porn, almost as if we feel entitled to porn that’s free. And when you hear all of the volunteer hours, all of the many hats, the very real reality that Inka sometimes has to choose between money going towards these films and rent. And just how many people have to be on board, supporting this endeavor. My hope is that it’s going to help you to look at porn a little bit differently. Inka also has a really interesting story. She was raised inside of a cult in Austria, where sex was mandatory. She talks a lot about that experience growing up and how it shaped her and and why that relates so deeply to these erotic films that she makes. So we talked about that piece in our Patreon bonus.

So if you support the show at $3 and above, you get weekly bonus content. There’s a huge backlog at this point. And this week’s bonus is a little 12-minute bonus conversation that Inka and I had about her “why”— that includes her sharing a little bit about what it was like growing up inside of this cult in Austria and the sexual practices that were there and required by the leader. So definitely check that out. That’s at patreon.com/sgrpodcast.

Dawn Serra: Also, before I share a little bit more about Inka I would love to hear from you. So many of you have been writing in I am all loving your questions, your emails, your stories, please keep them coming. If you could use support, if you want validation, if you’ve got questions, request for resources, or you’re just feeling really stuck and you don’t know where to turn— write to me. I would love to hear from you. You can go to dawnserra.com. There’s a contact form there and there is an anonymous option if you don’t want to share your details. Send it my way, I’d love to hold it with you. Then maybe we can explore it on the show in a future episode. Because I’m sure whatever it is that you’re wondering or feeling ashamed of, or feeling stuck around, there are lots of other people who could hear that and feel really seen and feel less alone. So write to me, I’d love to hear from you. And be sure to head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast for this week’s bonus with Inka Winter and all the other bonuses. 

Last week’s bonus was 5 “Am I the Asshole?” stories. People have already started commenting. I’m asking everyone to vote on whether or not they think each of these five people are the asshole or not the asshole within the comments so far been amazing. So be sure to check that out and also leave your input on who is the asshole and who isn’t the asshole. We’ve got some really fun other things coming up in the next couple months. So check that out. 

Dawn Serra: Okay, so let me tell you about Inka and then we’ll dive into the interview. Inka Winter is an erotic filmmaker and the founder of Forplay films—  an independent all woman production company that puts female pleasure front and center. Inspired by the power of sexual expression, her films celebrate all shades of female desire. Winter believes that sex education and emotional well-being are a big part of a healthy sex life. She also produces Sexucation, a short video series using humor to educate everyone on all things sex, and is training to become a sex and relationship counselor. An LA-based costume designer and lifelong artist, Winter spent her formative childhood years living in an artist commune in Austria. You’ll hear her name it as a cult in the Patreon bonus, which set the foundation and aesthetic for her creative endeavors and filmmaking. 

Now one quick note before we jump into the conversation, as you’ll hear, because it does really truly take so much to make porn— most of the films that Inka has created at this point have been friends volunteering themselves. Inka has this strong desire to have other kinds of bodies with other kinds of abilities. Lots of people have different kinds of gender. She wants to offer variety and diversity in her films. But when resources are low, she has to work with the people that raise their hand and volunteer. So you’re going to hear more about the homophobia that is inside of the adult entertainment industry, especially for men, and why she’s having such a hard time finding men who are willing to perform together in her films; as well as some of the very real challenges of living in LA and wanting to find people who are willing to put themselves on screen and naked, being vulnerable, and bodies that are outside of the traditional norm. 

So tune in, check it out. You are going to hear a lot of talk around the gender binary. But I think that that’s because that is what Inka has had to work with so far. And you will hear a desire for her to feature more trans bodies, non-binary bodies, fat bodies, disabled bodies, and all kinds of different sexual orientations down the road. So here we go. my conversation with Inka Winter.

Dawn Serra: Welcome to Sex Gets Real, Inka. I am really looking forward to chatting with you today about erotic films and sex education and sexual healing. So thank you for being here with us. 

Inka Winter: Hi, I’m looking forward to chatting with you too. This is a topic that I’m very passionate about. 

Dawn Serra: Okay, so for people who aren’t familiar, you are the founder of Forplay Films, and Forplay is spelled without the “E” – so Forplay Films. You make erotic films by women for women. And you define women as cis, trans, and non-binary. So I’d love to hear how you got started. What got you to pick up a camera and decide, “I am going to make some sexy films and film people having sex.”?

Inka Winter: Yeah, it’s actually a really personal story. I was in a long-term relationship about maybe 10-years ago, and I lost my sex drive after a traumatic event. It took me a really, really long time to feel like I can get out of that, but really, there was always this, “What can I do to help myself get out of this lack of sex drive?” So we were thinking, me and my partner, were thinking, “People watch porn for this kind of thing. People watch porn to be turned on, so why don’t we try that?” He showed me some of the stuff that he was watching and I was like, “No, that’s not really working for me.” Then we googled porn for women, female friendly porn – none of that – anything that came up was just not working for me. I mean, this is about 10 years ago, so I hadn’t heard about Erika Lust yet. And I think things just weren’t available as much on the internet to find easily. I was like, nothing that was coming up was anything that I wanted to see. I just kept wondering, “Why isn’t anybody making porn for women?” We want to be turned on too. There’s got to be… I just thought that was very strange and confusing to me. 

The year passed and I kept joking about like, “Oh, we should make this,” because in my other life, I’m a costume designer. So I work in film and so I’m around feature film people a lot. So I’m like, “Hey, we should make porn for women.” Everybody was like, “Yeah, hahaha!” But, just the idea – it just kept being there. Eventually, me and my ex broke up, but I just didn’t stop thinking about it. Then in this whole 50 Shades of Grey era, there was this GQ Spain Fashion video. And it was just super sensual and sexy. There was no sex whatsoever, but it wa super erotic and it was, obviously, mild BDSM and a lot of leather. But it was just shot in a way that made me feel like that’s what I want my porn to look like. 

Inka Winter: At that time, I did a lot of editorial photo shoots with a friend who’s also cinematographer – a female cinematographer. I asked her, “Hey, would you shoot a trailer with me for something erotic that’s more like a sex scene in the movie?” And at that point, I hadn’t even considered that I needed to do a hardcore porn or penetration at all. To me, it was just – I just want something that’s longer than a sex scene in the movie and more involved. But something sensual. So she was like, “Okay, sure.” So I planned shooting this concept and she was also director, but then it turned out that she wasn’t actually available for that day, and so she hooked me up with another cinematographer – another female cinematographer. Then I was like, “Who’s going to direct it?” She’s like, “You are.” I was like, “Okay.”

Dawn Serra: “I’ll figure this out as I go.”

Inka Winter: I mean, I have to say that’s basically how I live my life in general. So, I’m like, “Yeah, you tell me to do this, I’ll do it, unless it’s obviously crazy and harming me.” But basically, I’m pretty much… So that’s basically how I shot my first concept – a visual concept that is also on the website. It’s called Teaser and that’s the first thing I’ve ever shot just to give a visual idea of what I want porn to look like. Then somehow, I got to talk to the managing director of Penthouse Magazine a few years back. And she wanted to work with me, except that then Penthouse went back bankrupt, so that didn’t happen. But as I was talking to her, she was like, “We’ll make a soft core version and a hardcore version.” I was like, “Okay.”

Dawn Serra: Interesting.

Inka Winter: I remember leaving the room and walking to the car and being like, “Okay, so I guess I just agreed to…” So then, I was like, “This is for women. So I’m going to ask all of my girlfriends and women, if that’s something that they want to see.” Because if they want to make porn for women, that’s sort of my question is to women, is that something they want to see? Then everybody was like, “Yeah, we want to see that if it’s shot beautiful.” I was like, “That’s the whole point of what I’m doing. So therefore, that’s what I’m going to be doing.” Then I was like, “Okay, I guess my concept has changed to being real sex with penetration and everything.”

Dawn Serra: So you saw a need and felt this call that kept coming up. You kept thinking about it and then all of a sudden here you are making films.

Inka Winter: Yeah, basically.

Dawn Serra: Wow, yeah. How exciting. I love that. That’s something I have, listeners know, have been thinking about doing for years myself and just haven’t had the time or the courage. So I really admire that you just dove in and started following your vision and talking to friends, and then creating for the kind of aesthetic that you wanted and your friends wanted. And here you are with a number of films under your belt and showings at Hump Festival, which so many listeners go to. What an exciting shift!

Inka Winter: Yeah, yeah. In the beginning, I was also not sure how I would even go about creating this. I had always known that I wanted sex education to be part of the overall promotion of sex and and sensuality. So, being in Los Angeles, I was thinking, “I can make sex education videos fairly simple,” because it’s LA and there’s so many actors that want to create for fun. I had a friend at that point, Shonali, who was like, “Yeah, I want to support you and help you do this.” So we sat down and and started to to do these sex education videos and that’s how the first video I ever had at Hump was Just Jizz – it’s like a spoof medical commercial for semen.

Dawn Serra: Yes, I’ve seen it. It’s so funny. 

Inka Winter: Yeah, that’s basically how I got into Hump first, and then I flew up to Portland and I connected with all these people that I knew through this Sex Positive Burning Man Facebook group. And I started to talk to them about what I wanted to do – erotic films – and saying, “I don’t have anybody who wants to be in it and I don’t really have a budget to hire porn actors.” So people were like, “Oh, actually, I want to be in the film.” I was like, “Okay!” I sort of had these friends starting to volunteer themselves and after I shot with one couple… 

I started shooting with real life couples. And after, a couple of them volunteered themselves and then their friends saw the films and loved them. So then they wanted to shoot with me. And that’s how it snowballed into more and more people wanting to film with me. Because they all love what they saw and they all wanted to live out their exhibitionist-kinky being in a film fantasy. Without them, I really couldn’t have done anything, basically.

Dawn Serra: How extraordinary that so many people raised their hand and volunteered and said, “I’d really like to be a part of this.”

Inka Winter: Yeah, I know. I have to say everything that I’m doing is only possible because so many people are volunteering their labor of love like my cinematographer and all my friends. I have a few girlfriends that are basically like, every time I film, I’m like, “Hey, are you available to be there?” There’s so many things that need to be done on set like moving things around and preparing lunch. So people just show up and help, and none of this would be possible without them doing that, for me and for this cause, basically.

Dawn Serra: Which I think really goes to why it’s so important for all of us to pay for our porn. It takes time, it takes resources, it takes friends volunteering weekends and evenings. It takes money to have equipment and rent locations. You’re really speaking to that, that you’ve been so lucky and all the generosity of the people you have in your life. And, it’s so important for all of us to put our money in those places where we want to see more creativity in film coming out.

Inka Winter: Yeah, that’s definitely true because I’m definitely at a point where I’m constantly like, “Can I make another film or not?” Because whatever money I put up for it is coming out of my rent and food money. So, I am definitely hoping to get to a point where the website generates money in a way that allows me to finance the films from it, which isn’t yet. But hopefully.

Dawn Serra: I’d love to know, let’s just assume that in the next six months, a whole bunch of people hear about your work – they get really excited. They start renting and buying the films that you’re making. And you’ve got a big influx of money coming in so that you can really create some of the stuff you’ve been dreaming of. What are some of those future dreams that you have been thinking about really wanting to film or people you’d love to work with? What’s kind of that dream that’s like, “When the money is there. Here’s what I’ll do.”?

Inka Winter: There’s multiple things like one of the things money will do is just for – it will allow me to shoot more regularly and create content. One of the main things I want to achieve is being able to upload one new film per month. And that’s only possible with more money because right now I’m editing most of the stuff myself. In order to create more content, I need to be able to hire an editor so that I can make films. So really, that’s my most immediate goal that money can provide. Then down the line, there could be series or films that are a little bit more involved because now I’m limited to shooting one day and getting whatever I can do in one day. But if I could do maybe two days, then the story can get more elaborate. Maybe I could do a series that’s a continuous series. 

At some point, I also have a feature film idea that’s really going to be about the different kind of emotions and scenarios for sex – showing, portraying the vast emotional and human experience that sex is. It’s going to be less about a story and more about sex in general, I guess. That’s all I can say about that. 

Dawn Serra: Yeah. I would love to see, one, a feature film that was really focused on feelings and emotions and experiences, all of the places that sex can take us. But also to be able to be creating monthly? I mean, that sounds exciting and also quite the undertaking.

Inka Winter: Yeah, no it is. It is so exciting and every time I feel like I shot something, Sunday, the leading up to is so nerve-wracking. There’s so much anxiety and so much planning and right now it’s sort of… We refer to the Inka Department, basically joking. Because I have a cinematographer but I pick up the gear myself. We fit so much gear in my tiny little Hyundai Elantra. I’m not even kidding. In the beginning, like the people at the rental place looked at me like I was a crazy person, but now it’s like, “Hey, you guys know… We can make this work.” Except that sometimes I show up and they forget, and then they put huge rails there, for example, this time. I looked at it and I’m like, “You know my car, right?”

Dawn Serra: “It’s not going to fit all that.” 

Inka Winter: We just find ways, creative ways, to use equipment in a way that it’s going to fit in the car and it does every time. It’s that and then obviously I do wardrobe, and I have props and set design. I buy all the catering and… So it’s like Inka Department just means everything. On like the last shoot, it was actually… Inka Department also involved me being the plumber because the location that we were at…

Dawn Serra: Oh, no!

Inka Winter: There was a problem with the sink. At some point, I just had my hands deep in this bucket of water that was overflowing.

Dawn Serra: Oh, no…

Inka Winter: You know, Inka Department. 

Dawn Serra: Yep. The reality is what’s happening behind the scenes. One of the things that I really appreciate so much about your work and it’s so clear from your website is how central consent and pleasure are to the work that you’re doing. I would really love to hear more about how consent is handled on set and the atmosphere that you try to create for the performers.

Inka Winter: Yeah. So, in the beginning, filming was coupled, obviously. It brings something different because they already know each other. They have this consent with each other that goes way back of interacting sexually. And their chemistry is it’s – a lot of it is about chemistry. So they come in with this amazing chemistry because they’re a couple, they’re in love. Actually, the first day – the first shoot that I’ve ever had, I didn’t really know what to expect. So we all showed up and we filmed at my friend’s house and it was a beautiful house. I mean, usually, it’s an all female crew. So it was me and my girlfriends basically there. So the first film, if you’re on the website, it’s “Undressed”. It’s the first film that I’ve ever done – the shower scene. So then there was this girl who had brought one of her partners who then brought his other partner – so it was three people that were all polyamorous, consensual partners. We started working together and we were just checking in with each other a lot. I was checking in with them and the three of them were just checking in with each other all the time. I feel like it was really beautiful to see how they were doing consent with each other all the time. 

The whole day, I feel like I learned so much from the day. I learned so much from them. And it just set the tone for everything to come. I feel like, at the end of the day, everybody that was there really was like, “Oh my God, this was such a beautiful day. There was so much love.” I feel like that’s really the tone that we’re trying to have is love – this isn’t the romantic love – love means to be present to each other, love means to honor and respect each other’s boundaries. Love is being there for each other’s experience. From that day, setting the tone, I think that’s basically what our sets are like and now I’ve started shooting with adult performers. But the way that I go about it is I choose one person, usually the girl and then I ask her, “Who do you want to shoot with?” Then she brings another partner that she’s attracted to and then she has chemistry with, and that she wants to have sex with. So this chemistry and consent is achieved by the person having the choice of who their partners.

Dawn Serra: Yeah, yeah. I think that choice is so important. It gives so much agency to the people who are going to be in really vulnerable positions. I think that’s such a beautiful invitation. Instead of saying, “Here’s who you’re working with,” asking, “Who would you like to work with,” and then trying to make that happen.

Inka Winter: Yeah. Chemistry is… You can’t act chemistry. It just doesn’t work. Now talking to a lot of female performers, obviously, they perform and they don’t mind, most of them. And the male partners, they can say no… There’s definitely, in porn, there’s a no list that you can have. So if you really don’t want to work with somebody, you can say no. But at the same time, when it comes to, “Who do you really want to have sex with and who do you have chemistry with?” It’s usually a handful of people where they’re very, very much immediately like, “Yes, I know exactly who I want to be with.” It’s just different to have this person that you’re excited about versus somebody who you’re like, “Sure, I can… Why not?” 

Dawn Serra: Yeah. I had the immense pleasure of attending erotic film school, maybe two years ago, and that was such a fun experience. We had the opportunity to learn how to do a script and to set up a space, and then we all took turns doing the filming. At the end, we had a little student film that was political and funny and playful and sexy too. We were really wanting the performers to have an enjoyable experience and to really get to be in their pleasure, especially at particular key moments of the sex. And I remember feeling so much pressure to get the shot, so that we weren’t interrupting them, but then having to interrupt them every once in a while to shift certain things or because the lighting moved. 

I’d love to know for you, as a person who is behind the scenes and dealing with real situations of intimacy and vulnerability, what’s it like to navigate that space of interrupting someone during sex, of asking for changes? Or do you do that at all? Do you just let it unfold then maybe go for a second take? What’s your process around the logistics of actually filming sex?

Inka Winter: Yeah. I mean, it’s definitely a combination of both. I mean, there really are second takes most of the time and unless you really need to get this little thing and then you do it again. But overall, I don’t really work with second takes. So it’s definitely a mix between just letting it go and letting them do whatever is needed or is comfortable for them. But then sometimes there’s definitely moments where you have to use the space in a way that makes sense. The camera sometimes has limitations. 

So definitely, like the other day, they were in a position where suddenly their faces were completely in the dark and it just sort of… they needed to move a couple of feet in order for the whole lighting concept to work. I mean, I just try to be as gentle as possible. You just kind of like, “Okay, guys. Could you do me a favor and just move a little?” I just try to be gentle, but sometimes you have to say something and other times… There’s definitely also moments this whole anxiety of trying to say something while somebody’s having sex. It’s there still. Sometimes, it’s really important and then I definitely do it. And there were times where I didn’t say something and I feel like I wish I had said something. It’s just finding the right in between and also – it’s hard, especially with adult performers that are really used to being very performative. Then, I need to tell them to tone it down or be more in their body and in themselves. But also, I don’t want to tell them how to have sex. It’s an interesting… it’s interesting. 

Dawn Serra: Yeah, yeah. Now I know, there are filmmakers who really want to be behind the scenes and then there’s filmmakers who sometimes put themselves in the scenes like Vex Ashley or Madison Young. For you, have you ever considered being in front of the camera?

Inka Winter: No, that’s not really where I feel comfortable. I mean, I think first of all the if you look at the history of like Vex and Madison Young, they are all starting out to be performers and then start making films. So this is, for me, that’s very different. I guess Erika Lust, I don’t know if she’d ever been one of her films, but I’ve just never come from the performer side. But even in real life, in mainstream films, I’m never letting anybody put me in the film as an extra or even– I am not an in front of the camera person in any parts of my life. Doing that in a sexual way – I mean, honestly, I have so much respect for anybody who puts themselves in that position and be so vulnerable in front of the camera. It’s amazing and it’s something that it’s just, for me personally, I don’t feel comfortable doing, you know?

Dawn Serra: Yeah, we all have different roles. Some people are extroverts versus introverts. Some people want to be in front of the camera and in the spotlight, and some prefer being behind the scenes. I think it’s great to know, “This is where I feel comfortable. This is where I can do my best creative work.”

Inka Winter: Yeah. I have a lot of respect for the people who are like, “Yeah, I’m going to do this.” I’m like, “Yeah, more power to you.”

Dawn Serra: So I know on the Forplay Films website, there is a mention that if someone would like to be considered for one of the films, they can certainly contact you. Then you also mentioned that you do private boudoir videos for individuals and couples. If someone’s listening and they would be interested in being a part of a future film project or bringing you in even for a private boudoir video, how can people contact you? What kinds of folks are you looking for? I’m sure there’s some listeners that would be interested.

Inka Winter: Yeah. I mean, as part of our films, if you want to be part of our films that are on the website… Mainly, you’d have to be comfortable with being on the internet. That’s the main requirement. I think after that, there’s like – I’m really open to, there’s no specific look or anything that I’m going for. I would like to create a body-diverse platform. So definitely open to everything. 

I think a lot of times the people that are comfortable being naked having, sex in front of the camera, especially here in LA are people that are on the skinnier side. So I’m specifically also looking for a more diverse range of bodies, which I also – I have a few things coming up. So I’m excited about that. And for the boudoir private thing, basically, literally anybody can hire us as a production company to come into their home or a location of their choosing, and have us make them their own private boudoir video for their own consumption. Make your own porn that you can watch at home with your partner. It’s like a great anniversary gift.

Dawn Serra: Yeah!

Inka Winter: I think the couples that are on my website, I mean, they love having those films of themselves. It’s such an intimate connecting thing to have to celebrate your relationship with each other.

Dawn Serra: I love that, as a way to really give each other a really unique gift or to share yourself with a partner, as a really vulnerable, “Here’s what I made for you.” And to really be able to see yourselves from this outside perspective that you normally really wouldn’t get a chance to see yourselves in that way. We’re so in it, obviously, when we’re experiencing it. I think there sounds something really special in being able to really actually see the ways you look at each other and touch each other, and your body’s move from this outside perspective.

Inka Winter: Obviously the advantage of having us come in and do that is that it’s just going to look better than whatever you can do yourself with. I mean “better” in terms of there’s going to be lighting and if you’re self-conscious about how you are going to look – lights are going to change that. Obviously, there’s a lot to be said for filming yourself at home – the amateur style and it’s super sexy, and it’s just like private and then scraped. But having this done in a more professional setting. Other than that, you have to be comfortable with people watching you. That’s like this whole other step. But other than that, you’ll have a product that you, I think, feel like – a lot of us women who are body conscious will probably feel more comfortable with something that’s lit well.

Dawn Serra: Yeah, yeah. So I know you’ve got this series of sex ed videos – they’re like really cheeky and really fun. There’s a video on cunnilingus, there’s your Just Jizz, there’s one involving James Bond. I would love to know what other topics of sex education you would enjoy creating videos around down the road.

Inka Winter: Oh my god. It’s more like what do I not want to create a video about? I mean, I think for me, it’s both – I feel like there’s this educational part of pertaining to pleasure where – that’s where the cunnilingus one comes in, for example – and I definitely have a blowjob video planned. I’m sort of prioritizing the the erotic content right now, but I’m just only one helper – one person and to helper. So it’s just a time thing. Definitely, there’s so much different kind of pleasure. Obviously the blowjob one, BDSM – all sorts of a few different kinks like the female orgasm. it’s just so many things about pleasure. But then also, we have the history of the female birth control on there for people to have an idea of how did it come about, and what does it mean, and hormones that we’re taking. The education on the biology of all of it is equally important for empowerment. We have the the male birth control on there, this discussion of why do women take birth control so easily and nobody’s come up with something similar for men, or actually they have, it’s just not available. Then there’s other really amazing forms of male birth control like the vessel gel that seems like such an easy solution. But there’s not enough funding or the FDA isn’t approving it.

I think this is so much… I mean, gender, consent – there’s a million million million topics that are all equally effective to good sex. Actually one of the next videos I want to do is also mindfulness and sex.

Dawn Serra: Oh, I love that.

Inka Winter: I’ve been studying mindfulness for a really long time. I’m also doing – I’m actually training to be a therapist also.

Dawn Serra: So you’re busy.

Inka Winter: Basically, that’s just something that combines all of that. In the beginning, the reason I even started doing erotic videos was for therapeutic reason. Because I wanted something to help me regain my sexuality and that’s why I started Forplay Films in the first place. So for me, mental health and sexual health are really so tied in with each other. They don’t… They need to both be working in order for a happy life.

Dawn Serra: Yeah, yeah. I really appreciate that. I think it’s so wonderful to be folding that into work around erotic film. I mean, consent and pleasure, but also presence and mindfulness and communication – all of these things that we have to navigate and making it something that’s fun, playful, erotic, sensual. I think that’s what so many people are looking for is a way to engage with sex and for it to feel accessible and arousing. But also, like there’s something that you can see of yourself in it. Maybe you’re even learning some new ways of being together or of touching someone. I mean, there’s so much potential in this space, that it sounds like you’re exploring and want to explore, which is exciting.

Inka Winter: Yeah, actually I mean, in the more practically educational sense, the thing that I filmed last weekend, I want to play with a little bit of a narration. It’s like this girl’s fantasy or she’s writing this in her diary. It’s just her saying, “Oh, those are some things that I like.” So the sex that was had is going to– I’m going to see if that’s possible to narrate it, so she can be like, “Oh, I love it when he touches me in this way,” or “In missionary position, I love the intimacy.” “I love it like how he looks at me.” “Our faces are close together.” This and that. I mean, especially young people watch porn and they do learn from it. 

So I feel like there’s also an opportunity to go beyond the just showing beautiful, intimate, connected, consensual sex. There’s an opportunity to maybe go be a little bit more descriptive, so I’m playing with that idea.

Dawn Serra: Oh, I love that. And it’s not only heterosexual and cis sex and relationships that you work with. One of your newer films has the amazing Jizz Lee in it and your Key Party film, which was so fun, had lesbian sex and men enjoying each other, and all kinds of different configurations of bodies. So it sounds like down the road, you’d love to be able to build and grow on the diversity of bodies and sexual orientation.

Inka Winter: Absolutely. One of the things I want to do next is definitely a two guys and a girl video. One of the constraints that I found here in LA with adult performers is that there’s a lot of bias about – let’s just call it homophobia. And I think, it’s two things I guess, what I’m learning is the testing system is different. So with heterosexual adult actors, you have to be tested for HIV and for gay adult performers you don’t. There’s a real concern that is totally real. But then it’s really also a lot of perception and this is something that I didn’t know about, and the more that I get to know adult performance, the more I talk to them about it. They’re, basically, like, “Yeah, I don’t even want to do a pretend scene because then I’m going to be perceived as somebody who’s been with men and then people aren’t going to hire me for heterosexual anymore.” It’s really really intense. 

So for me, with two men and a girl, even if the men don’t have penetrative sex or anything, I want them to at least make out or touch each other. So that’s something that – I mean, it’s going to work out and I’m going to find somebody to do it. I’m just realizing it’s not as easy with adult performers in Los Angeles, as one would have maybe ignorantly thought.

Dawn Serra: Well, if there’s any queer or bisexual men who are interested in volunteering themselves for a film, it sounds like there’s a need.

Inka Winter: Definitely. 

Dawn Serra: Well, before we wrap up, I would love for you to share where people can connect with you online. Where can they go to rent and buy your films? How can they stay in touch and see what’s coming up next for you? Where do you live online?

Inka Winter: Yeah, so definitely the website, which is forplayfilms.com – and that’s Forplay spelled without the “E”. So play on words – Forplay . Then Instagram and Twitter. We’re @ForPlayFilms and we also have a Facebook page – @forplayfilms. That’s about it.

Dawn Serra: Terrific. Okay, so I will have a link to foreplay films as well as your social media in the show notes so everyone can click through, check out the trailers, see if there’s anything that they might want to enjoy. I watched a couple this morning and it was very fun. I have the best job. I just want to thank you so much, Inka, for being here with us and sharing a little bit about your process and your films. I hope lots of people go check it out.

Inka Winter: Yay. Thank you so much for having me. This is fun.

Dawn Serra: Yeah. To everybody who tuned in, make sure you go check out Inka’s work at Forplay Films. If you support the show on Patreon, be sure to head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Inka and I are going to go record a little bonus chat just for you now. Bye.

Dawn Serra: A huge thanks to The Vocal Few, the married duo behind the music featured in this week’s intro and outro. Find them a vocalfew.com. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast to support the show and get awesome weekly bonuses.

As you look towards the next week, I wonder, what will you do differently that rewrites an old story, revitalizes a stuck relationship or helps you to connect more deeply with your pleasure?