Sex Gets Real 169: Cheating & healing, a wife who hates come, & age differences

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This week it’s just you and me, working our way through some rad listener questions.

It starts with some listener love from an episode I did around the election last year. Sometimes I feel a little nervous to share political stuff – like the oppression episode and the abortion episode, but I trust you to hold space even if we disagree.

I will be having a vendor booth at the Vancouver Dyke March. YAY!

Of course, I got love for Amarna Miller’s interview in Episode 168 and Ruby Bouie Johnson’s polyamory chat on Episode 166. Gavin appreciated Amarna’s views on ethical porn and her deliberate choice to share herself on film. Me, too!

It’s so frustrating to me that we still need to constantly prove to the world that sex workers are people with agency and complex stories. But, I’m grateful it means I get to connect with amazing folks like Amarna and Andre Shakti and Kitty Stryker and Conner Habib…

Michelle wanted to know about the fat-friendly wedge pillow I mentioned a few years back. That was the Liberator wedge and I highly recommend it.

Jes wrote in with feelings she had about my Orgasmic Meditation episode. Let’s make sure we all move into spaces that combine sex with other things like money or spirituality with an open mind and also a healthy dose of skepticism. Abuse is SO easy in these spaces because we’re all moving through so much shame.

T.S. is struggling with a lot of anger and big feelings. Her friend’s dad just cheated on her friend’s mom and she doesn’t understand why. How can she support her friend and her friend’s mom and how can she process her feelings about it? Why do people cheat?

I have lots of thoughts, and explore so many of the reasons people might cheat and why it doesn’t mean a lack of love, even if it does mean lots of pain and hurt.

Ethan gets aroused by screenprinting on t-shirts and clothing. He wonders is this a fetish that others have? Where can he learn more? It’s not a fetish, per se, but he gets very turned on by the look and smell and even taste of screenprinted letters. I weigh in.

Zak needs help. His wife hates his cum and he wants her to love it. How can he get her to open up to the idea? Also, why doesn’t she have any fantasies? I have big thoughts about “making” someone like anything. Instead, how can we create relationships full of openness, vulnerability, and curiosity, so that we can share our desires without feeling judged or like we have to force other people to change? Shout out to Wendy Strgar for developing fantasies.

Curious about signing up for my newsletter? Sign up here to get a kinky Yes No Maybe list or sign up here to get a 5-video course on desire and libido. I recent wrote about the politics of pleasure and how many of us are skeptical of pleasure. Someone wrote back something really beautiful that I want to share.

Miss B is worried about the age difference between her and her new partner. They’re having AMAZING sex and they’re in love, but will there come a time when the age becomes a problem?

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About Dawn Serra

Sex Gets Real host, Dawn SerraI am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

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  • Dawn
  • July 9, 2017

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