Sex Gets Real 100: Threesomes, unicorns, and butt stuff

Did you hear the news?

Wow.

100 episodes.

100 episodes of Sex Gets Real.

What an amazing 2+ years it’s been. And it also seems appropriate that today is the day Dylan is announcing she’s leaving the show.

As sad as Dawn is about the news, Dylan has an opportunity that is amazing and something she’s been wanting for a long time.

The show isn’t going anywhere though, so don’t worry. We’ll be having loads of amazing guest co-hosts and contests, so episode 100 is simply a chance for us to try something new with our next 100 episodes.

And this episode doesn’t disappoint – questions about threesomes and unicorns and ass sex and precum and much much more.

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts. Just click the iTunes link below.

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About Dawn Serra

Dawn Serra is a therapeutic Body Trust coach and pleasure advocate. As a white, cis, middle class, queer, fat, survivor, Dawn’s work is a fiercely compassionate invitation for each of us to deepen our relationships with our bodies and our pleasure as an antidote to the trauma, disconnection, and isolation so many of us feel. Your pleasure matters. Your body is wise. Dawn’s work is all about creating spaces and places for you to explore what that means on your terms. To learn more, visit dawnserra.com or follow Dawn on Instagram.

Episode breakdown

0:33 – 100 episodes!!!!
1:00 – Our huge announcement: Dylan is leaving the show for an amazing job opportunity that she can’t pass up.
3:25 – Dylan is still a spring chicken, people.
4:27 – Remember that time Dylan had a butt plug in while we recorded?
4:45 – A listener wrote in about cumming off the side of cliffs and outdoor sex. There you go.
6:02 – Dylan’s wife loves outdoor sex, but Dylan not so much. Dylan doesn’t want to have to rush off.
6:36 – And then, there’s Dawn with the backseat sex…AGAIN.
7:42 – Just do it fast, dammit!
8:19 – Do not blacklight Dawn’s car.
8:41 – Rye wrote in about sneezing and sex.
9:59 – That’s like coughing out a butt plug.
10:19 – Tiara wrote in wanting to know about starting your period during a one night stand.
11:03 – Would you tell someone if you started your period or hide it by turning off the lights?
12:27 – Dawn had a hook-up who would nearly faint at the sight of her period blood. It was not terribly convenient.
13:11 – Just put a towel down and make a mess. It’s sex.
13:54 – A listener wants to know – to be or not to be exclusive in her relationship?
14:05 – How fun to be dabbling in kink and trying new things.
14:28 – Can you be in an exclusive relationship and also be swinging?
15:19 – It sounds like this couple is getting hung up on the labels, instead of digging into what it is they really want and need.
16:58 – It doesn’t matter what you call it. What matters is the people in the relationship are really clear about what each person wants and needs and isn’t OK with and creating a really solid foundation.
18:15 – You don’t ever have to have sex when you’re practicing kink. The two are not mutually exclusive. You can have heavy, hot kinky scenes that are impact play or Dominance and submission or bondage and never engage in any sexual activity. It can be a purely physical or psychological outlet.
19:39 – Anytime you find yourself hung up on a label and getting stuck there, leave the label out of the discussion for a while and dig into the why, the how, the needs and wants that are UNDER that label. You’ll probably start finding some understanding or commonality with that barrier out of the way.
20:08 – Dawn struggles with the label of polyamorous, but she’s open to the actions and dynamics of polyamory. That’s an important point for anyone to know about themselves who may be trying to create bridges and connection with others who DO find that label fitting.
20:34 – Laurell K Hamilton is a horror/fiction writer with a vampire series and a faerie series, who happen to all be polyamorous, without ever calling it polyamory, and Dawn was obsessed with those books for years.
22:30 – Dawn was in the middle of a big scandal at George Mason University.
24:33 – Turns out WGMU slut shamed the two female hosts of Dictation who had Dawn on to talk about sex and consent.
27:18 – This is a big freedom of speech issue. GMU has some explaining to do.
27:42 – Check out Roxana and Suzy’s show Dictation! Their Twitter is here, which links to their Soundcloud show.
28:40 – What the fuck does “ladylike” even mean? Ugh. Sexism.
30:03 – Old enough to engage in sex is relative, but our listener is worried about getting pregnant from her boyfriends pre-cum during cuddling.
31:21 – If you’re taking birth control, taking it reliably is really important.
32:00 – You can engage in non-intercourse activities if you’ve been inconsistent with your birth control.
34:19 – Don’t play the Rub-A-Dub-Dub game, folks.
35:44 – Let’s talk about being a unicorn in a threesome. Wheeeeee.
36:47 – Yay for being empowered when you choose to have intercourse for the first time!
37:38 – How fun to stumble on a terrific ad on craigslist looking for a unicorn. Our listener wants to know how to have a safe threesome experience?
39:27 – Make sure, as a unicorn, you advocate for what would make this threesome a great experience for you.
40:31 – It’s easy for the 3rd’s needs and feelings to get pushed aside when you’re playing with an established couple.
41:37 – The reason single women are called unicorns, is because they’re so rare and hard to find. So, unicorns have the power to pick and choose.
42:29 – Dawn is a fan of meeting up before the sex, for coffee or a chat, just to ensure the chemistry is there BEFORE you are knocking on a hotel room door.
43:29 – There’s a huge difference between online chemistry and in-person chemistry.
44:55 – How do you get started with ass sex if you’re scared?
45:43 – …if you have an aversion to the whole poop thing.
46:12 – Dylan says that the best intro to ass play is “eat that ass”.
47:33 – Don’t ever force anal play. Your body remembers if something hurts and you subconsciously tense after that. So always end things wanting more. Slower is better.
48:29 – A slow massage is also a wonderful way to relax the area.
50:07 – “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” by Tristan Taormino is terrific if you want to learn more and help get past any fear.

Episode Transcript

Coming soon