Sex Gets Real HIQI Episode 82

The accidental HIQI.

Dawn had a shitty week. Not only was she battling Strep, but she fried her laptop and lost this week’s episode. So, we’re doing a HIQI in place of our longer episode and we’ll be back on track in 2 weeks.

So, what are we talking about this week besides Dylan’s vacation to Hawaii? Well, a listener, who is a special needs dad, wrote in with some feedback about the interview we had on sex and disability.

Sex and a child with a social or developmental disability gets really complicated. What’s right for them? How do you protect them from abuse? Can you? And when is medical treatment actually eugenics in disguise? How do you determine consent, autonomy, and safety?

It’s a tough conversation full of some ableist language, but we have to start somewhere.

Also, retirement communities and STIs. Teach your grandparents and parents about safer sex!

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:05 – So we had a little accident with this week’s episode…
  • 2:00 – Dylan is not only in Hawaii, but the wife said she can make out with someone while she’s away.
  • 3:35 – When you know the option is there, you’re more discerning. When the option isn’t there, you want to bang everything in sight.
  • 4:55 – We have a very serious email today.
  • 5:30 – A special needs dad had some thoughts about the sex and disability interview we recently had with Robin Wilson-Beattie.
  • 6:26 – A hysterectomy with ovary removal is extreme, but when you have someone without the ability to give consent, this listener feels removing the option for pregnancy is important for some cases.
  • 8:10 – Consent is a super tricky issue for certain populations, like patients with dementia as Dawn learned at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.
  • 8:38 – You want to try and honor the autonomy of each person, but in some cases, advocating for their safety is also an issue.
  • 10:08 – Sterilizing a child for a better life comes dangerously close to eugenics.
  • 11:00 – There are so many variations in the type of mental disabilities each person has, that it’s difficult to have one answer.
  • 11:58 – As a society, we view disabled folks as asexual or non-sexual.
  • 17:35 – We can’t make assumptions about all people with a specific disability because each person is unique. When we enact sweeping laws, that’s ableism. It’s takes the person out of the equation.
  • 18:22 – Parents of disabled children often have mixed motives. It’s a complicated issue.
  • 19:40 – Dawn calls herself and Dylan out for ableist language.
  • 20:19 – We definitely want Robin to weigh in.
  • 21:14 – As a society, we have this vision that people are born disabled, but any of us can acquire any number of disabilities throughout our lives.
  • 22:41 – Talk to your grandparents and parents about safer sex, if they’re going into a retirement community.

And be sure to pin, share, and Instagram this bad boy

On this week's accidental HIQI for Sex Gets Real, Dawn and Dylan address a listener email that's about being the parent of a disabled child and what that means when it comes to consent and sex. We weigh in, and not very well.

  • Dawn
  • October 25, 2015