Sex Gets Real HIQI: Episode 75

What does sex positive mean to us?

Dawn explores one of her super embarrassing fantasies. Sometimes taking the risk of sharing the scary stuff pays off.

Oh Joy, Sex Toy recently did a comic on water sports, which gets us talk about peeing on folks.

Plus, at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, Lotus Blooms asked us to talk about what sex positive means to us. Let’s explore this and see where we land.

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:04 – Dawn just snorted.
  • 0:26 – Let’s hear what happened during date night. One of Dawn’s super secret, embarrassing fantasies got trotted out.
  • 2:10 – There is something fun in doing something so private and embarrassing with someone you trust that also makes it really hot.
  • 2:53 – Shout out to Oh Joy, Sex Toy and their recent comic on water sports. Erika drew it so well. See it here.
  • 4:08 – Sometimes taking that risk and saying the scary, private stuff can pay off.
  • 4:32 – Where else in the world will you hear, “Speaking of water sports, I posted something on Facebook…”?
  • 5:15 – Dawn went on a few dates with a guy a while back who really loved messy sex, and he asked her to pee on him.
  • 6:54 – Dawn doesn’t think pee is that gross. Scat play is on the hard no list, though.
  • 7:18 – Guess what happened to Dawn when she recently posted a picture of a dildo? Facebook police got called. Bastards.
  • 9:00 – Was the complaint because it was a picture of dildos or because it was a picture of an uncut (uncircumcised) dildo?
  • 11:59 – Lotus Blooms, which is a feminist, body positive sex toy store in northern Virginia, asked people at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit to answer: What does sex positive mean to you?
  • 12:50 – Dylan tells us what sex positive means to her.
  • 14:05 – Dawn loves Dylan’s answer. Regardless of what you’re into or not into, it’s OK as long as you’re consenting – it includes virgins and asexual folks and celibate folks and so much more.
  • 15:15 – Sex positivity means embracing and supporting monogamy and vanilla folks, much like Feminista Jones was saying a few weeks ago. When did vanilla become an insult? That’s not a sex positive approach at all.
  • 17:15 – It’s OK to be into or not into something. As sex positive people, we need to do our best to include even the things we don’t understand or agree with.
  • 18:14 – What you’re uncomfortable with is usually what you end up judging others for or over compensating for.
  • 19:04 – Carol Queen wrote this wonderful post on what sex positivity is and is not. The “is not” is just as important as the “is”. If you want to check it out, it’s on the GoodVibes blog.
  • 19:30 – Carol makes a critical point that sex positive doesn’t describe the sex that you do or don’t have.
  • 21:48 – We try to be super sex positive on the podcast, but the world at large is not at all sex positive. Too much shame and misinformation exists. So we want your sex positive stories.

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So, on Sex Gets Real this week, we talk about super embarrassing fantasies, water sports and peeing on folks, plus Lotus Blooms asked us to talk about was sex positive means to us. So, we weigh in.

  • Dawn
  • September 6, 2015