Sex Gets Real HIQI: Episode 73

A listener calls us out.

Small penises…they’re the butt of many jokes, the catch in many commercials, and even featured on SNL as a reason to kill yourself.

So, when a listener writes in to call us out that small penises really are that bad – after all, he’s been broken up with four times specifically for his small dick – Dylan and Dawn take a step back and contemplate what it means.

Hear our feedback and why the worst thing in the world may not be quite so bad.

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:16 – Small. Dylan! You know what we’re about to talk about.
  • 0:26 – Let’s make fun of what a jerk Dylan is once you hear the listener question.
  • 1:56 – A listener emailed us with a little bit of a complaint or upgrade. Let’s talk about penis size, shall we?
  • 2:45 – While Dawn and Dylan try to be inclusive, the message all around us are telling us how inadequate we all are. So when one comment gets made or slip up happens, it can feel especially painful.
  • 3:06 – Our listener, Inadequate, talks about small penis size and how he’s been treated as a man with a small penis.
  • 3:54 – Just like women are told to be thinner and more perfect, men are told to have huge cocks in order to be a real man. The messages for gender queer folks are even more dismal.
  • 5:04 – We pulled out a ruler and looked at 4”. It’s longer than Dylan’s fingers, which are MORE than enough for super satisfying and hot sex.
  • 6:10 – We know a lot of people who have lovers who don’t have cocks, and who are sexually satisfied.
  • 6:26 – If someone leaves you because of your penis size and tells you that’s the reason, you’re dating scumbags.
  • 8:45 – The culture story is that “real” sex is penis-in-vagina sex. So let’s change the story.
  • 9:14 – Everything you’ve been told about sex is wrong.
  • 11:04 – We have to find within ourselves the self-acceptance to embrace whatever our body type or version of sex is, and then own it. Claim it. Make it an unapologetic reality.
  • 11:45 – Some people fetishize small penises.
  • 13:30 – There’s no reason a person with a functional penis can’t strap it on. It can be fun! Don’t let the stories about “real men” stop you from exploring and playing in this way.
  • 14:00 – Dawn talks about the limitations and accommodations she makes as a person with a fat body. It’s the same when you have any other kind of body difference that doesn’t fit the cultural narrative of what’s “good”. Embrace it and make it yours.
  • 17:05 – There are lots of types of bodies and lots of types of preferences, so our listener needs to try and find people who are more accepting and accommodating of his body.
  • 18:50 – Find a way to make your body empowering for yourself.
  • 20:36 – Kids use porn as their sex education, which then translates to a continuation of the cultural stories when they grow up. Which is why we talk about porn so much when it comes to penis size.
  • 21:32 – We want to hear from our listeners on this. Who has a small penis and has an amazing sex life? Who has had a partner with a smaller penis and enjoyed sex with them? What’s your experience?
  • 23:00 – What about sucking someone off when they’re soft? It’s a thing.

And be sure to pin, share, and Instagram this bad boy

This week on Sex Gets Real, a listener calls us out. He has a small penis and he says it's not porn's fault. It's really just a horrible thing to live with. Four people have broken up with him because of his dick size. We weight in and respond.

  • Dawn
  • August 23, 2015