Sex Gets Real 147: Fat sex with “Curvy Girl Sex” author Elle Chase

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Elle Chase is back, which delights me to no end (though, I’m wrong in the episode – Kate McCombs was the first repeat guest!).

I adore this chat despite some audio issues, because we get so personal – sharing sex stories and awkward moments and keeping sex so very real, especially for folks who are fat and curvy.

Her brand new book, Curvy Girl Sex, just hit stores, and of course, I use her beautifully curated LadyCheeky.com anytime I want to turn myself or my sweetie on. Rawr.

So, here we are talking fat tummies and fat butts and bad backs and awkward sex noises and all the glory of anything-but-elegant sex.

Oh, and if you’re looking for the details on submitting a listener confession, I created a guidelines page for you. February theme is surprises.

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In this episode, Elle and I talk about:

  • How it feels to be curating LadyCheeky.com after all these years and after tens of thousands of posts. Does Elle still love it or does it feel like a chore?
  • Elle’s new book, Curvy Girl Sex, which offers sex ed, permission to have a bigger body, and tons of positions with accommodations for fat bodies having fat sex.
  • Letting go of feelings about your body so that you can enjoy pleasure and sex rather than getting stuck in how you look. Elle shares a story about her partner taking naked pictures of her and how badly she felt about them – but how she handled it meant she was able to let it go and savor the rest of the sexy weekend.
  • The book’s little icons that tell you what positions are best for larger bellies, larger thighs, pregnant bellies, strap-on sex, and a bunch more.
  • What we wish more people would have told us about sex, especially sex in a fat body. Elle’s number one pick for advice she wishes for is delightful and sends us off on a bender about sex and messiness.
  • These collective fears we have about “ruining the mood” and how it ends up hurting us all when we tolerate things that don’t feel good. It also reinforces the belief that we don’t deserve pleasure.
  • Mutual masturbation! Elle and I talk about why it’s so yummy and why we want more people to adopt it as legitimate sex.
  • Elle’s favorite chapter in the book about arousal, anatomy, and pleasure. Some people take two minutes to be fully aroused and other bodies take an hour. How can we give permission to trust our body and the time that needs?
  • The joy of the Liberator wedge and/or firm pillows for better positioning and better sex.
  • Banning negative self-talk, especially during sex, and why that’s so critical to honoring the pleasure that your body is capable of. If you get trapped in a cycle of self-criticism, how can you possibly enjoy the touching and the sensations? You aren’t present at all.

About Elle Chase

Elle Chase, sex educator and curator at LadyCheeky.com

Sex educator and sexuality and body image coach Elle Chase, is a graduate of the comprehensive San Francisco Sex Information, Sex Educator Training Program and a member of the American College of Sexologists. Elle also serves as the Director of Education & Lead Sex Educator at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education, which offers pleasure inclusive classes, on sexuality, gender, sexual health and sexual lifestyles. She is also the author of “Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower your Sex Life,” from Fair Winds Press and as her alter ego Lady Cheeky, is the editor of the smash hit (very) adult coloring book, the #NSFW Totally Naughty Coloring Book by SheVibe.com.

Elle is also the creator, curator & editor of two award-winning and highly trafficked sexuality websites, www.LadyCheeky.com (NSFW) which has been named as the number one site for porn for women, and its companion editorial site www.SmutForSmarties.com which has been L.A. Weekly’s choice for ‘Best Sex Blog’ since 2013.

Follow Elle on Twitter @TheElleChase and @LadyCheeky (NSFW).

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  • Dawn
  • February 5, 2017