Sex Gets Real Ep 106: A penis that’s different & rope bondage basics

From BDSM to broken penises, from virgin stories to rope bondage. It’s a packed week.

Dawn has some new client openings for sex and relationship coaching. Want to check it out? Pop over to her coaching page and jump on it ASAP.

This week is full of juicy questions. One listener reveals he has a broken penis and after being shamed by a few partners, needs help getting over the fear. How can he embrace his penis?

Another listener is eager to try rope bondage and wants stories from Dawn, plus resources on how to safely get started.

A virgin is super excited to write in with her first juicy story, even if it wasn’t ideal. Also, where can you find BDSM conferences like the ones Dawn always goes to?

Oh, and one listeners received a prostate massage from two massage professionals that ended in orgasm, and how his wife feels like he cheated. What can he do?

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:20 – Technical difficulties? NOOOO.
  • 1:22 – Want to work with Dawn on your relationship? Check out dawnserra.com/work-with-me to see the coaching packages available.
  • 2:23 – Lost One wrote in with a question about his broken penis and how to accept it.
  • 3:30 – Grrr on people who shame other people’s bodies. Not cool. Getting naked is difficult enough for most of us, but to be shitty about someone’s genitals? That has to stop.
  • 4:26 – So many people have genitals that don’t fit the conventional porn look – from surgeries to injuries to aging to being trans or on hormones, many people have to find a way to accept their genitals and how they look.
  • 5:00 – Stupid rules about masculinity and the value of a penis. Ugh.
  • 5:59 – Want to check out the penis documentaries? Just click these links: “My Penis and Everyone Else’s” and the follow-up “My Penis and I”
  • 8:18 – Sometimes we just need to reframe what’s different about us. Instead of seeing it as broken or wrong, what if it was a celebration of being unique and one of a kind?
  • 9:50 – Most people don’t know how to have open, vulnerable conversations, so instead they immediately reject anything different or surprising. It sucks, but it’s the world we live in.
  • 10:14 – That documentary Dawn mentioned was the Smallest Penis content in Brooklyn, which you can find some videos of on YouTube.
  • 10:39 – Surround yourself with people who have bodies like yours or who are radically accepting and inclusive of differences.
  • 11:49 – You want to create safe space for open dialog instead of filling the room with shame and awkward silence. When you’re brave, other people feel safe enough to get brave, too.
  • 13:38 – If someone criticizes your body, they DO NOT DESERVE to be with you in any way. That immediately earns them rejection.
  • 14:40 – Dawn had someone say something really shaming and horrible to her about her body, so in the moment, it is hard to move through body shame and say it’s not OK. But we all deserve respect and acceptance, especially if we’re going to have sex with someone.
  • 15:46 – Expelled for looking at each other in the bathroom? Kids just do that! Poor Ryann.
  • 18:15 – Can we please be a little more accepting of kids being curious about each other’s bodies?
  • 18:33 – Rye wrote in asking for help about getting into rope bondage. YAY.
  • 19:29 – Check out The Twisted Monk and 2 Knotty Boys for some bondage learning.
  • 20:30 – Alex did some yummy stuff with rope recently. RAWR.
  • 21:14 – There is something incredible about the feel of rope on your skin.
  • 22:40 – A rope harness on your chest with your arms bound can be very submissive and limiting. It requires a lot of trust.
  • 23:42 – For all things kinky and education, get thee to KinkAcademy.com. Over 1400 videos from the leading experts in the world demonstrating all manner of things from rope to canes to whips to spanking and power play.
  • 25:09 – Definitely check out FetLife to see if there are rope events near you.
  • 27:20 – Rope safety: have safety sheers and make sure the rope bottom is comfortable speaking up and asking for adjustments.
  • 29:57 – Do the rope play.
  • 30:47 – Virgin Mary wrote in on how bad decisions can make great stories. Yay for a first blowjob and 69!
  • 33:10 – Kinky conferences. How can Ande find them?
  • 33:42 – Another shout-out to Fetlife, especially if you want to find events.
  • 35:26 – Dawn found this list of BDSM events on submissiveguide.com.
  • 36:27 – Here’s another one called The BDSM Events.
  • 38:04 – A listener wrote in – he got a prostate massage and had a sexual encounter and now his wife feels like he cheated. What can he do?
  • 39:24 – Every person defines cheating, monogamy, fidelity, etc differently. You MUST talk about what these words mean when you’re in relationship with someone. What does flirting mean? What does making out mean?
  • 40:40 – Trust is necessary for a solid, vulnerable relationship with someone. If trust is violated, it takes as lot of work to rebuild.
  • 41:23 – Find a sex positive therapist or coach who can help you rebuild if you and a partner have experienced a regrettable incident. Dawn does this, by the way!
  • 43:37 – Navigating the rebuilding of trust takes time and work, but it is possible.
  • 47:04 – There are some amazing guests lined up: Victoria Rosa, Elle Chase from The Lady Cheeky, Cooper Beckett, August McLaughlin, Nadine Thornhill, jessica drake…

And be sure to pin, share, and Instagram this bad boy

On this week's episode of Sex Gets Real, Dawn Serra fields questions about rope bondage, BDSM conferences, cheating via prostate massage, and how to overcome penis shame if your genitals look a little different. Also, Dawn has new spots open for sex coaching, so jump on that.

On this week’s episode of Sex Gets Real, Dawn Serra fields questions about rope bondage, BDSM conferences, cheating via prostate massage, and how to overcome penis shame if your genitals look a little different. Also, Dawn has new spots open for sex coaching, so jump on that.

  • Dawn
  • April 24, 2016